How much do you know about Chester? This mysterious place in the north of England is famous for the worst television show ever made. But it’s also the city that gave us current James Bond Daniel Craig. But do you know how much Chester inspired Mr. Craig? Well who better to answer these questions than Chester resident and Daniel Craig’s body double Chris from one of my favourite blogs – Terry Malloy’s Pigeon Coop. Educate us Chris!

Screenkicker Olympics: Chester, UK

A History of Daniel Craig by Terry Malloy’s Pigeon Coop

could have written about marital romp The Wedding Video which was filmed in my fair city of Chester, but a) I haven’t seen it, and b) I didn’t want to. So instead I’m going to write a bit about Chester’s favourite son, a Mr Daniel Craig. Dan (that’s what we Cestrians call him) loves Chester and he can regularly be seen walking around the city giving guided tours and selling ‘I heart Chester’ merchandise. He has also named every dog he’s ever had after the city and demands his wife, Rachel Weisz, call him Chester when they’re in bed together. Chester is a Roman city and so enamoured with the Roman period is Mr C that he actually had reconstructive surgery to look more like the founder of the Roman Empire, Augustus. Check the likeness below…

He loves Chester so much that he makes several references to it in most of his films. Here are just some of the instances in which he’s slipped everyone’s favourite Roman city into his movies:

• In Elizabeth he played a priest called John Ballard. This is clearly a reference to the fact that Chester Cathedral is the most popular tourist attraction in the north west of England.
• In Skyfall, Bond fights a bloke in an enclosed space reminiscent of a Roman gladiator battle. Chester is, of course, a Roman city and has the largest complete amphitheatre in the country, which would no doubt have held gladiator battles.
• Danny was in Cowboys and Aliens, which had horses in it. Chester has the oldest racecourse in the country.

• The Dan-meister General kills people in loads of his films. This is clear reference to the law (that apparently still exists) which states that you are allowed to kill a Welshman if he’s caught within the city walls after midnight.
• D-Man starred in The Golden Compass. Chester is located in the north west of England. North west is his favourite direction on a compass.
• In Road to Perdition, D to the C played a character called Connor Rooney. John Rooney, brother of Manchester United footballer Wayne, currently plays for Chester FC, staggering piece of foresight by El Danno considering Road to Perdition was made in 2002. (See also Rooney Mara in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.)
• Defiance is set in World War II, with Dan-te’s Peak apparently agreeing to the role in memory of Group Captain Leonard Cheshire, WW2 RAF bomber pilot, who was born in Chester.

• Lara Croft: Tomb Raider is a terrible film. Dan, Dan, He’s Our Man, If He Can’t Do It, No-one Can apparently agreed to do the film as a political protest against the lack of city centre cinema in Chester.

So there we have it. Hard proof that Oh Danny Boy is a Cestrian through and through. This is just a sample of his obsession, though. I’m not even touching on his Chester tattoos or the fact that he will only eat dairy products if the cows live within 15 miles of Chester (20 miles for goats). He’s a strange man, that’s for sure, but we love him for what he is and wouldn’t change him for the world. And just to prove how amazing he is, here he is in ice lolly form…

Thanks for that informative and enlightening tribute to Daniel Craig’s love of the city of Chester. I went to Chester once and had a really nice sponge spudding, the place is lovely. I never saw Daniel Craig there or murder a Welshman. At least that’s what I told the cops. If you would still like to join in with the Screenkicker Olympics fun and/or buy an ice lolly shaped like me then get in touch at michaelboyd185@gmail.com