Before I start this review I need to level with you and say that I’m not a fan of The Expendables movies. The first film was a mess of explosions and bad dialogue, the second was better but still couldn’t get the balance between action and comedy right. So what about The Expendables 3? Does it succeed where the others failed? The answer is…..kind of. Here’s why.
The gimmick and main selling point of the series is that it brings together all of the old action stars of the past particularly my childhood. Sylvester Stallone is the leader Barney Ross but from here on I’ll only refer to him as ‘Sly’, its really that kind of film. He’s joined by a host of other stars including Dolph Lundgren, Jason Statham, Randy Couture and Jet Li. The Expendables 3 has the largest cast so far with new additions being Wesley Snipes, Antonio Banderas, and..um..Kelsey Grammer. There’s also a new team of young actors but we’ll get to that later. The story is pretty inconsequential and simplistic. Sly’s gang are charged with bringing an international terrorist to justice. This bad guy is played by an on form Mel Gibson who its great to see back on screen. The Expendables 3 could have been a rollicking action adventure except for one huge flaw – the movie tries to cram in about a thousand characters. The plot winds up in a pattern of Sly takes team on mission, team gets kidnapped, Sly takes new team to rescue them, team gets kidnapped, and so on.
Its a relief then that near the end the film escapes from this infinite feedback loop and the shooting can begin. Its totally bloodless compared to the previous films but you don’t really notice because of the frenetic pace. This whole climax is actually directed really well, with most of the Expendables getting their chance to shine. The Expendables 3 isn’t a bad movie, you get a sense that the actors enjoyed making it and this bleeds through to create a lighthearted flick that doesn’t take itself too seriously. There are a few funny injokes involving Wesley Snipes’ imprisonment and the specter of Bruce Willis.
Its a breezy shoot em up that’s reminiscent of a long episode of the A-Team so there’s always something happening. Snobs will look down on its old fashioned ways whereas I view them as charming. Would I recommend going to see the movie? Maybe. Depends if you’re in the mood for something you can switch your brain off at and play ‘hey I know that guy!’. For anyone else its probably not worth the ticket price.
6/10
Screenkicker Kelsey Grammer Index (SKGI)
Best
Screenkicker! 
You haven’t seen Hank haha.
“In a December 2009 interview with Jay Leno, Kelsey Grammer admitted that he had initially called Warner Bros. to ask that the show be cancelled because it was too unfunny.”
LikeLike
Haha, that really makes me want to see Hank!
LikeLike
I saw one episode on a flight. Imagine the least funny comedy ever, and double it haha
LikeLike
Good review, dude! I’ve not seen any of these movies. I have a feeling a wouldn’t really dig them…
LikeLiked by 1 person
They’re not really worth searching for, you’ll have a full and productive life without it
LikeLike
Hahaha good. Then I’m happy with my life choices. 🙂
LikeLike
awesome review!
yeah, there is no way I’m watching these movies… lol
LikeLike
Thanks Melissa! I know you have Stallonephobia. I don’t get it, I love him!
LikeLike
Honestly, I ain’t ashamed the slightest bit about actually liking these movies. Going to see this one for sure! Kelsey Grammer being in this is hilarious!
LikeLike
Haha Kelsey Grammar in this? Lol. Good review, I really would like to see this sometime.
LikeLike
Seriously lol right now! Kelsey Grammer the super expendable douche of them all. Expendables=old actors who had their day in the sun as action stars.
LikeLike
Hye! I like the old guys! It was the bits with the new people that brought it down
LikeLike
Old guys are pretty cool, well they were very cool back in the day.
LikeLike
Great review. I think 2 is lame but 2 is the true essence of the series. But 3 seems half-assed and more of a bore than I anticipated. And the dearth of new characters adds nothing.
LikeLike
Oops I meant 1 is lame!
LikeLike
Good review Michael. It’s the kind of movie I expect from this franchise by now. For better, and definitely for worse.
LikeLike
Thanks mate, If it didn’t have all the stars in it it would be an incredibly generic action flick
LikeLike
Ok. So…. You also went to THIS instead of Guardians of the Galaxy??????? Dude. Seriously.
LikeLike
Hahaha, to be very honest, I have not seen any of these. Still deciding whether I should or not… Good review!
LikeLike