Into The Storm (2014) Review – It Sucks

 

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That camera-man on the left just couldn’t give a f*ck

Lets start this review with a question – What does the typical moviegoer look for when they go see a disaster movie?

A) total mayhem with cows being chucked around and objects that shouldn’t explode yet somehow do while trees are thrown through buildings and people cower in fear from the apocalyptic horror?

B) an awkward teen stuck down a hole using the death of his mother to hit on a hot girl?

If you answered A then congratulations you’re a normal destruction loving member of planet earth. If you answered B then may God have mercy on your soul.

into-the-storm
“Is this really the time for you to get a boner?!”

The point of this little quiz is that Into The Storm is a disaster film that can’t decide which of these movies it wants to be. Yes you get to see some jaw dropping scenes of a super tornado ripping the shit out of small-town Oklahoma but you also have to sit through clichéd crap involving family drama and boring comedy characters. And did I mention this is a found footage film? Well almost – it can’t even stick to this format, dropping it when it’s convenient rendering it pointless

The film tells the story of loads of tornados striking at once in a small town in America where the residents include a high school teacher (Richard Armitage), his two sons, a few storm chasers including a meteorologist (Sarah Wayne Callies), and a couple of stereotypical rednecks who i’ll name Eric and Brian. None of these people are memorable leaving it to the actual storm to provide the substance, something that is sadly lacking.

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I did some research and this can actually happen!

Obviously the shift in focus from massive storm drama to actors talking through their problems is due to the budget. The effects are wonderful and obviously stupidly expensive but this shouldn’t mean the characters should be so bland. Richard Armitage (proving to me that he doesn’t actually have a fake nose in The Hobbit) tries his best but can’t be anything other than dull concerned father. The rest of the characters are one note generic Americans that you’ve seen in a million other movies.

To paraphrase Bart Simpson, Into The Storm is a film that manages to both suck and blow at the same time. It’s found footage filming style is gimmicky and the cast are completely wasted. At least it has a fire tornado but you can see that in the trailer. A boring movie with a few awesome looking tornados is still a boring movie. Stick with Twister.

4/10

Bonus question: What is your favourite disaster movie? Mine is Jack and Jill starring Adam Sandler. Write your answers in the comments.

 

 

Screenkicker Tornado Index (STI)

BEST

13-09-21P1010472

Enduring Freedom

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WORST

15 comments

  1. 😄 Your reviews never fail to make me laugh. I’d quote the funniest bits here, but everything was comedy gold. Especially the captions!
    Hmm..what thinketh you of The Day After Tomorrow?

    Like

  2. I’d love to see almost everything, but I’m a paying customer at the end of the day y’know? This looked terrible, and if I need to see it I’ll rent or wait years down the line on SyFy. Great review.

    Like

  3. I saw a preview for this the other night at the cinema. And it looked so bloody stupid and loud with really gimmicky 3D that I really wanted to see it. And even though I can tell from your review I’m probably going to hate it, I’m still going to check it out.

    Like

  4. ha! it definitely sounds terrible! I think my favorite tornado movie is “Take Shelter” with Jessica Chastain and that weird guy from Boardwalk Empire, where the tornado never even materializes. It’s all buildup, which is the scary part anyway!

    Like

  5. *Snicker snicker* chuckle chuckle.

    Told you.

    (Well, actually I didn’t say anything. Mostly b/c I knew this would be the fate of most intelligent movie goers.) hahaha. No offense to anyone who enjoyed this or anything, but come one. You’re lying to yourself if you say the movie was better than its trailer . . .

    The trailer is FREE and it’s so much shorter! Plus, like u said, it features the flaming tornado. The flamer.

    Like

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