Do Mermen Have Penises? – Ask The Brain Gremlin

Its about time for a new feature here at Screenkicker. This one is for all of you confused movie watchers. What exactly is the science of Hollywood? Well nows your chance to ask those questions that have been troubling you about your favourite films. I’ve called in a specialist to enlighten you with his supreme intellect. Come inside and meet the Brain Gremlin!


The Question

Dear Brain Gremlin,

My twitter friends and I have been discussing the practicalities of films like Splash and The Little Mermaid. Can a human reproduce with a mer-person? Specifically, do mermen have penises?



The Answer

Excellent question Mer-lover and one which has troubled horny marine biologists for years. To answer this we need to look at the reproductive cycle of the average fish. Most species of female fish will deposit her eggs externally which the male will then fertilize by splashing his sperm over them. Fish jizz is technically called ‘milt’ and does the same job as its land based counterpart.


What all this means is that theoretically a mermaid and human male could have little merchildren. But what about the other way round? This is trickier as human women don’t tend to deposit ovules in the sea. However there are certain types of sharks and rays that have genital accessories known as ‘claspers’ which function much like dongs and can internally fertilize the chick fish’s eggs.

This book actually exists!

So to answer your question – yes some mermen may have wieners provided they’re from the shark or ray family.

Have you got a burning question for the Brain Gremlin? Let me know in the comments below or email me atΒ


  1. HA! The Zoolander gif is perfect for this. As for that cover…two things: 1) Are you actually the author, Dee Carney? 2) Is it just me, or does that woman not have a neck?


Leave a Reply, go on, don't make me come over there

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s