Its about time for a new feature here at Screenkicker. This one is for all of you confused movie watchers. What exactly is the science of Hollywood? Well nows your chance to ask those questions that have been troubling you about your favourite films. I’ve called in a specialist to enlighten you with his supreme intellect. Come inside and meet the Brain Gremlin!
The Question
Dear Brain Gremlin,
My twitter friends and I have been discussing the practicalities of films like Splash and The Little Mermaid. Can a human reproduce with a mer-person? Specifically, do mermen have penises?
Yours
Mer-lover
The Answer
Excellent question Mer-lover and one which has troubled horny marine biologists for years. To answer this we need to look at the reproductive cycle of the average fish. Most species of female fish will deposit her eggs externally which the male will then fertilize by splashing his sperm over them. Fish jizz is technically called ‘milt’ and does the same job as its land based counterpart.
What all this means is that theoretically a mermaid and human male could have little merchildren. But what about the other way round? This is trickier as human women don’t tend to deposit ovules in the sea. However there are certain types of sharks and rays that have genital accessories known as ‘claspers’ which function much like dongs and can internally fertilize the chick fish’s eggs.
So to answer your question – yes some mermen may have wieners provided they’re from the shark or ray family.
Have you got a burning question for the Brain Gremlin? Let me know in the comments below or email me at michael@screenkickermovies.com
Screenkicker! 
Nice! This is NOTHING like Ask Professor Popcorn! #LawsuitoftheCentury
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P.S. Don’t forget to add those apostrophes to your contractions before you post ….
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Dammit I only do it with ‘its’. Don’t judge me!
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(And how’s) (ps)
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Inspired by! I love Professor Popcorn, they could team up!
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HA! The Zoolander gif is perfect for this. As for that cover…two things: 1) Are you actually the author, Dee Carney? 2) Is it just me, or does that woman not have a neck?
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It’s like the kind of books you find in your library. I’m surprised Kirstyn Probie didn’t write it
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HA. She probably did!! I’m sure she works under several pseudonyms…
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Ohh I love these deep probing questions … see what I did there? I guess if Merman are mammals like dolphins or whales then probably?? 😀
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I’d love to see a whale-merman!
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A friend of mine was actually wondering about this exact question the other day. Now I can give her an answer! Thanks Brain Gremlin!
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I’m worried about the kind of friends you have! If they ask anymore questions let me know 🙂
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The next time they ask something totally weird and out of the blue I will definitely forward it to the Gremlin!
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The title “Deeper than the Ocean” says it all! Thanks for the laugh, Brain Gremlin!
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Haha yes! I’m surprised they didn’t incorporate the word ‘wet’ in there too
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FINALLY! Now I can sleep at night 🙂 Also, the Zoolander gif is perfection.
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Does that mean you’ll have ‘wet’ dreams? 🙂
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I see what you did there!
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Yeah you tell it was a little fishy 😉
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You’re just codding me now.
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This needs to stop. I’ll skate off before you batter me 🙂
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I can’t believe you’ve actually made me think about shark dicks.
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Yeah right, like you weren’t thinking about them already 😉
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Ha!
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Mer-people are content to just do the titty-fuck.
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Aren’t we all?
Thanks Smash, I knew you’d take things to the next level! 🙂
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lol, always happy to oblige!
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Lmao!!!! I love how Smash can always out-filth the boys… ; )
Mike! Nice post. Lol – you seem a little obsessed with this whole milt thing… ; )
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lol, you know me T9, I just have a way with words.
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Hehe. I know. It’s awesome! ; )
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Haha love this! They could always go down the adoption route too, I guess.
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You’ve really thought this through, haven’t you Chris? Do you happen to have a secret mermaid mistress?
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Keep it on the DL man, the world is too cruel for her, for us.
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I always thought there was something fishy about you
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This is just wonderful. I’m down to experiment and make some merchildren. They seem easy to take care of…considering I can’t live underwater with them.
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That’s sick!!!
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THis post made me super-horny
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I can’t swim so will never get to experience such things
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[…] If that’s a question you’ve ever wondered, the Brain Gremlin over at Screenkicker! has the answer for you. Don’t be embarrassed, everyone has wondered about this at least […]
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[…] with a message of tolerance and acceptance of all kinds of people whether they have gills and a retractable dick or not. There’s no room to form these thoughts on your own as the movie basically shouts them in […]
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