Hey everyone, I’m back! My epic trip to America is over and I’m back in rainy Edinburgh. Look out for the full report of my US adventures very soon. In the meantime here’s a new edition of Mini-Kicker where I take a look at three recent films and tell you that they’re crap/good (delete as applicable). The theme for this edition is movies about white people fighting bad guys from a different ethnic origin. Ok, I’ll admit I couldn’t really think of a link between the films so I just clutched at straws. Anyway here are the specimens up for dissection.
Lucy was quite the hit in the UK when it was released in the summer. After watching it I honestly have no idea why. Scarlett Johansson plays an American student who accidentally consumes a drug that unlocks her full potential, an interesting idea that is completely wasted in dull action scenes around Asia and Europe. Johansson is better than the script she’s given and veteran actors like Morgan Freeman and Choi Min-sik are completely wasted. Lucy never appears to be in any danger meaning you just don’t really care what happens to her. Watch Limitless instead
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)
The latest TMNT adaptation is only produced by Michael Bay but you can see his filthy little fingerprints all over it. We get a Shredder who’s basically Megatron, lingering shots of Megan Fox’s ass, and a city demolishing climax. Unlike the 1990 movie of the same name these Turtles just aren’t likeable. Raphael is transformed from a cool badass into an aggressive asshole and Michaelangelo isn’t funny. Plus Splinter looks like a flea-ridden dog crossed with Bill Maher. The movie is CGI overload making the fight scenes impossible to follow, something I call the ‘Man of Steel effect’. It’s less cowabunga and more cow-shit.
How To Train Your Dragon 2 (2014)
Following up the fantastic How To Train Your Dragon was always going to be a difficult task however this sequel is a lot of fun. It’s not on the same level as the original but is still totally worth watching. All of the characters and cast are back (including friend of Screenkicker America Ferrera) with the people of Berk being at peace with the dragons until an evil dragon trapper attempts to spoil the love-in. The script isn’t as strong and the side story about Hiccup’s mother doesn’t add much but How To Train Your Dragon 2 is colourful, fun, exciting, and doesn’t drag-on (thank you!) like Lucy or TMNT.
What do you guys think of this trio, maybe you have a different opinion. Feel free to berate me in the comments below. Bonus question: What is your favourite movie dragon?