Top 5 Films About North Korea

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‘Easy ladies, there’s enough of me to go around!’

In the wake of the media furore about Sony deciding to scrap the release of The Interview only one man can stand up to the North Korean regime. That man is me! In an effort to combat censorship and to get a bite of the controversy pie I’d like to present to you Screenkicker’s top five movies featuring everyone’s second favourite part of Korea.

5. Die Another Day (2002)

Billy Corgan's film career was short-lived
Billy Corgan’s film career was short-lived

Or the Bond film with the invisible car. Our friends from NK are the bad guys (bet you weren’t expecting that). The chief villain is Colonel Sun who *spoiler* gets plastic surgery to look like snooty English cad Toby Stephens. There’s also henchman Zao played by Rick Yune who takes a load of diamonds to the face. 007 must race against time to stop Sun from blowing up all the landmines in the DMZ in Korea so that they can invade the south. Amazingly that’s one of the less ridiculous parts of the film.

4. Red Dawn (2012)

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Oh Thor, what were you thinking?

The awful remake of Red Dawn originally had the Chinese as the antagonists but sensing that it’s not a great idea to piss off a country with a million man army the producers changed all references of China to North Korea. So why wasn’t Lil’ Kim annoyed about this? Probably due to the movie only being seen by twelve people with most of them being Chris Hemsworth’s family. Poor Liam needs something to keep him busy.

3. Olympus Has Fallen (2013)

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The annual game of musical chairs ended in tragedy

Rick Yune is back as another North Korean asshole as he and his platoon storm the White House and take the president hostage. Their plan is to blow up nuclear weapon silos all over the US. President Aaron Eckhart spends most of the film tied to a wall while Gerard Butler sneaks around picking off terrorists. Not to be confused with the almost identical White House Down which is a much better movie. You can see both reviewed here and here.

2. Team America: World Police (2004)

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‘F**king Seth Rogen!!!’

Probably the most famous movie appearance by Kim Jong Il, Team America portrays the dear leader as a lonely little dictator that just wants to be loved. Kim’s grand scheme is to use the Hollywood acting community to assassinate the entire United Nations. It’s up to Team America to take down the nasty little shit and they do it in style with Kim being impaled on helmet of a German delegate.

1. Pulgasari (1985)

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That wasn’t a mistake, this was really made in 1985

Ah, Pulgasari. Probably the most famous North Korean movie ever. Not because it’s a masterpiece. In fact its a cheap Godzilla knock-off about a heroic socialist monster fighting an evil king. No, Pulgasari is famous because the director and star were both kidnapped by Kim Jong Il and forced to make the movie. If you’d like to read the whole unbelievable making of story I’ve written about it here.

It’s yet to be seen whether The Interview will get a release or whether World War Three will break out because of it. Are North Korea going to go after everyone who mocks them? I seriously doubt it. Hold on, there’s someone at the door, I better go see who it is…………..

oh f**k!

Nnnnnnoooooo!!!!!

10 comments

  1. This is great! Love your blog and sorry about all the nonsense this week. Just gets stressful around the holidays you know? Hopefully will all be sorted out soon.

    Love,
    Kim

    Liked by 3 people

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