The Trailer Park – Rogue One: A Star Wars Story – The best bits

There you have it, the first proper trailer for Rogue One, the Star Wars prequel set during the period leading up to the very first movie, and it has provided loads of new details about the movie. Here are my favourite bits.

New locations

Ten minutes later they were playing volleyball in their speedos.

Rogue One appears to introduce us to a shitload of new world’s to explore. There’s a planet with nice beaches, a Forrest one, and of course yet another deserty planet that young Ani Skywalker would hate. How these locales tie in with the known Star Wars universe it yet to be seen but in my opinion they look very cool.

Ben Mendelsohn 

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The scene where the Empire play indoor football has Ben in the free-kick wall.

 

If I had my way Ben Mendelsohn would be in every film. Even whatever hellish shitbomination is next to star Adam Sandler. Mendelsohn is almost peerless when it comes to portraying totally horrible people , check out his bravura turns as complete bastards in Animal Kingdom and Starred Up. We see him in the trailer glowering intensely, which says it all – he’s evil in this. With Darth Vader making his big reappearance what role will Mendelsohn play in Rogue One. Probably a despicable admiral of some sort very much in the Grand Moff Tarkin tradition. Is it just me or does Rogue One have a much better cast than The Force Awakens?

AT-AT walkers

Its been too long since we’ve seen these big staggering metal bastards. Now with 21st century technology they’re back and looking better than ever. Ever fantasised about shooting one in the face with a rocket launcher? (I have very strange fantasies) That’s exactly what you get in the trailer. Seeing the old technology of the empire and rebels tickles that nostalgic part of your brain and is so much cooler than whatever crappy knockoffs the First Order are using.

Donnie Yen

I’ve spoken of my love for China’s greatest, oddly Cliff Richard resembling,  martial arts hero before. The man punches people in the face onscreen better than anyone else. Now it’s great to see the world’s greatest Donnie (fuck you Osmond and Wahlberg) in an English language film. Small parts in Blade 2 and Shanghai Knights failed to show western audiences how cool he is but Rogue One looks like it’ll demonstrate this fully.

The music

What about that score in the trailer?! One of my big criticisms of The Force Awakens was it’s unremarkable soundtrack. There was nothing in it to suggest a progression from the original films. Even the music from the prequels was more memorable. However if the short piece from this trailer is indicative Rogue One could be the film to give your ears a cuddle and reassure them that Star Wars is going to OK. French composer Alexandre Desplat is handling the tunes this time, can he do proud by the legendary John Williams?

Darth Vader

Wouldn’t it be hilarious if he turned around and it was Hayden Christensen? No, no it wouldn’t.

He’s back! And when I say back I mean where he already was. As Rogue One is set just before the first Star Wars film Anakin Skywalker is still around being a major pain in the ass to everyone around him. It’s still not known how large a role he plays in the movie but it’ll still be great to see him back. Now we just need some way of resurrecting Peter Cushing.

Have you seen the trailer yet? What do you think? Despite feeling this kind of prequel is totally unnecessary I’m actually quite excited about another posh English girl saves the galaxy Star Wars film. Bring it on.

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Leave a Reply, go on, don't make me come over there