I love wrestling. Love it. It’s been described as a soap opera for men but I feel there’s more to it than a typical soap. The acting is better, the story lines are more believable and there’s a 75% higher chance that someone will get hit on the head with a folding steel chair. Saying all of that I haven’t actually watched it properly for about eight years but I’m sure it’s still great…..
Anyway when I got the opportunity to go see legendary WWE commentator Jim ‘JR’ Ross giving a talk about his career I immediately snapped up the chance. Well, immediately might be too strong. Before accepting I asked the following questions: 1. Will there be beer? 2. Can I dress up as Hacksaw Jim Duggan and take a 2 by 4? 3. Will Jim Ross really be wearing a cowboy hat in Glasgow City Centre? The answers came in: 1. Yes 2. No, I don’t have the beard or American blood to portray the great man 3. Of course, JR ain’t afraid of shit
Answer 1 was good enough for me. So along with Sidekick Steve (a new Screenkicker character that’s basically a human Poochie the Dog and may never appear again) travelled to the great Scottish city of Glasgow and wandered the mean streets until we arrived at the gritty majesty of the Hilton.
After four beers we sat in the audience until the main event exploded into life. Or to put it another way – a slightly overweight, sixty year old man in a cowboy hat sauntered onstage to regale us with anecdotes about his wrestling commentating career. The stories were great. He grew up on a farm in Oklahoma spending his days carrying bales of hay and smashing bag’s of puppies with a hammer (you had to be there). JR then told us about the early days of almost helping a blind wrestler murder The Million Dollar Man. I have to say he’s a very interesting man and a brilliant raconteur.
A short break followed for more beer and a chance for JR’s people to flog his branded barbeque sauce. That’s not a euphemism, he really does have a BBQ sauce with his face on it. Then it was back into the hall for a Q&A with the man himself. Many light hearted questions followed which JR answered in his witty, laid back way. This included a question from me which had the audience rolling in the aisles – you had to be there, it was hilarious, honest!
After everyone’s sides had been sewn up again someone dropped the ‘B’ bomb in a question. Uh-oh, the ‘B’ of course refers to Chris Benoit, that wrestler who murdered his family and himself. Thinking to myself ‘typical Glasgow, you can’t go an hour without someone either talking about or committing murder’. With this thought, it was time to go. Having consumed a few beers I immediately thought it was a good investment to buy a signed program of the event for ten pounds. That’s not a very exciting way to end the tale of my adventure but I’m the guy sitting here looking at a program of an unsmiling elderly southern man staring into my soul, and you’re not. Oh go on then you can see him too.