SK Olympics – The Megan Mullally Boob Song – Oklahoma, USA

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If you asked me to describe Eric from the IPC in three words I would probably say “creepy, very creepy”. So in an effort to demonstrate this Eric has written a song for the Screenkicker Olympics. It’s and ode to his fellow Oklahoman Megan Mullally. Actually to be specific it’s a tribute to her boobies.

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The song is to be sung in the tune of ‘Cat’s in the Cradle’ which you can play here:

Take it away Eric!

MEGAN MULLALLY SURE HAS A NICE RACK

I BET NICK O DIES WHEN HE GETS IN THE SACK

RUBBIN’ THAT STACHE ALL UP IN HER JUGS

IF I EVER MET HER, IT’D BE ONE ETERNAL HUG

SHE’S FROM MY HOME TOWN JUST A FEW MILES AWAY

YOU KNOW I STALKED HER UP JUST THE OTHER DAY

AND AS THE COPS BEAT ME AND USED PEPPER SPRAY

I SAID I’M A NICE GUY, YOU’LL UNDERSTAND SOME DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY”

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AND THE SHORT CHICK FROM WILL AND GRACE SURE HAS A NICE RACK

SHE ALSO HAS DOGS THAT ARE TRAINED TO ATTACK

THIS RESTRAINING ORDER SAYS “DON’T COME VERY NEAR”

AND TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE IT’S BEEN MADE VERY CLEAR

AFTER NICK BEAT MEEEEEE WITH BIG METAL TUBES

THAT I’M NEVER GONNA GET A CHANCE AT HER BOOOOOOOOOOOOBS

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NOW HERE I SIT, HIDING AMONGST THE TREES

DEALING WITH THINGS LIKE INSECTS AND THE BEES

I CAN SEE THROUGH HER BACK PATIO DOOR

I GET SO FUCKING HOT WHEN SHE’S MOPPING HER FLOOR

ALL DOLLED UP LIKE A PRETTY FRENCH MAID

I KNOW SHE’S JUST DYING CAUSE SHE WANTS TO GET LAID

BY A BIG, OLE TALL GUY FROM JUST DOWN THE SET

I KNOW SHE’S JUST FUCKIN’ PLAYIN’ I’M HARD TO GETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

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AND THE SHORT CHICK FROM WILL AND GRACE SURE HAS A NICE SET

I’D DO ALMOST ANYTHING TO PUT MY FACE IN IT

THIS RESTRAINING ORDER SAYS “DON’T COME VERY NEAR”

AND TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE IT’S BEEN MADE VERY CLEAR

AFTER NICK BEAT MEEEEEE WITH BIG METAL TUBES

THAT I’M NEVER GONNA GET A CHANCE AT HER BOOOOOOOOOOOOBS

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THIS BULGE IN MY PANTS IS NOW AWFUL SORE

I GUESS I’LL RUN OVER THERE AND JIZZ ON HER DOOR

WOW I’M REALLY SURPRISED THAT NICK DIDN’T LIKE THAT

WHAT IN THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THAT CAT?

I TURNED TO RUN, WITH MY PANTS AT MY FEET

AND HEAR THE SIRENS COMING FROM DOWN THE STREET

WHILE I LAY THERE SQUIRMING, I FINALLY KNEW

THAT MY FUCKING DAY WAS TOTALLY SCREWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWED

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AND THE SHORT CHICK FROM WILL AND GRACE SURE HAS A NICE STACK

SHE ALSO HAS DOGS THAT ARE TRAINED TO ATTACK

THIS RESTRAINING ORDER SAYS “DON’T COME VERY NEAR”

AND TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE IT’S BEEN MADE VERY CLEAR

AFTER NICK BEAT MEEEEEE WITH BIG METAL TUBES

THAT I’M NEVER GONNA GET A CHANCE AT HER BOOOOOOOOOOOOBS

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NOW I’M SITTING IN PRISON DOING TIME FOR MY CRIME

GETTING FUCKED IN THE BUTT, TIME AFTER TIME

I AIN’T GOT NO FRIENDS AND THE FOOD IS THE PITS

JUST THINK, ALL OF THIS, TO SEE A COUPLE OF TITS

SO LET’S EXAMINE WHAT WE’VE LEARNED TODAY

YOU GOTTA GET YOUR BOOBS THE RIGHT PROPER WAY

BUY HER SOME ROSES AND WRITE HER A SONG

WHATEVER YOU DO, JUST DONT EXPOSE YOUR DONNNNNNNNNNNG

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AND THE SHORT CHICK FROM WILL AND GRACE SURE HAS A NICE SET

I’D DO ALMOST ANYTHING TO PUT MY FACE IN IT

THIS RESTRAINING ORDER SAYS “DON’T COME VERY NEAR”

AND TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE IT’S BEEN MADE VERY CLEAR

AFTER NICK BEAT MEEEEEE WITH BIG METAL TUBES

THAT I’M NEVER GONNA GET A CHANCE AT HER BOOOOOOOOOOOOBS*

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Okaaaaaaaayyyyy! I hope you enjoyed that future karaoke hit and insight into the mind of a severely disturbed mind. I’ll attempt to contact Megan about it and we’ll work on that restraining order together. The ultimate irony: I get access to the Mulally boobs while Eric is rotting in a Oklahoman prison. Thanks Eric!

*the views portrayed in this song do not represent the values of Screenkicker. But coincidentally I agree completely.

41 comments

  1. LOOOOLLLLLL. Eric, I’ve said it before and I’m sure this won’t be the last time I say it: You are truly a poet. I feel like she might be flattered by this clearly heartfelt tribute. Maybe she’ll BUST you out of jail? …Get it? GET IT? …Heh. 😉

    Like

  2. Eric, I’ve been working really hard on getting the money raised for your bail. I’m about $283 short. I could sell off some of my DVD collection but…well that’s just not going to happen. Good Luck to you sir! Thank God you can still post from the computers in the prison library!

    Like

  3. Um. Mikey, “*the views portrayed in this song do not represent the values of Screenkicker. But coincidentally I agree completely.”

    This is not how such disclaimers are supposed to work. Though I agree as well.

    Like

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