Eskimo Porn – the Internet’s most powerful search term

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Picture the scene – it’s a cold winters night way back in February 2013 and a young(ish), (super)handsome blogger was putting the finishing touch to his Oscars special article. The right side of his mouth curls up as if to break into a grin, ‘I know, I’ll make a lighthearted joke about how the movie Winter’s Bone sounds like an Eskimo porno’. And thus a legend was born – Eskimo Porn became the most searched for phrase on Google to lead to my blog.

Some explanation for non bloggers. I use WordPress as my blogging tool and it has a feature that shows you what search terms people used that directed them to your blog. Look below, that’s the top searches for Screenkicker. Notice what’s at number one? Oh and number two. And numbers 5 and 6. My point is that EP, as I’m referring to it from now on, is surprisingly popular.

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Armed with this creepy info I decided to don my investigative journalist hat and enter the scary world of EP (I also put on my pervert’s raincoat and sunglasses to complete the look). So what did I find? I don’t want to go into too much detail suffice to say that icicles should not be used in that way. The search for EP fulfills ‘Rule 34‘ of the internet which states that ‘If it exists there is porn of it. No exceptions’ and has definitely opened my eyes to a world of filth I didn’t even know existed. And what did I learn? I learned that there really is something for everyone and that EP as a phrase is like a blogging cheat code to be used sparingly.

Are you a blogger? What’s the weirdest yet strangely popular search term that directs people to your site? Let me know in the comments below and I might invite you into my igloo for a coffee.

15 comments

  1. It’s not weird but I find it incredibly creepy the amount of people who come across my blog searching for ‘thinspo porn’. The other popular search term for my blog is boobs (and various celebrities boobs), I swear I only wrote about them once or twice… so many people must have been sorely disappointed after reading haha!

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  2. I came across your blog….I’ll rephrase, I stumbled across your blog by searching ‘I fear monkies watching porn’.l

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  3. Haha! People are pervs. Boobies, Amber Heard & shower scenes bring people to my blog the most. Seriously – post anything about shower scenes… Eskimo shower porn with Amber Heard boobies?

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