5 greatest movies about Jesus (that Jesus isn’t in)

Ever get the impression that there aren’t any original stories in films these days? Well you have a point but it’s not always been that different. For example the story of Jesus has been used multiple times for movies, even ones that he isn’t in. Those of you who have listened to the Screenkicker podcast may now doubt the existence of God but that theological quandary isn’t going to be discussed here. So since it’s the big man’s birthday next week I thought we’d have a look at the top five Jesus movies that Jesus isn’t in!

The Matrix Trilogy

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‘Jesus-punch!’

The bible talked a lot about how Christ was a charismatic teacher who often kept audiences rapt for days on end. So it might seem a stretch to compare him to a character played by Keanu Reeves. However look a little closer and it all makes sense. Neo is ‘born’ in an incredibly messy virgin birth, his coming as the chosen one prophecised by the John the Baptist style Morpheus. Swap the Romans for machines and you have an epic where our hero sacrifices himself for the sake of mankind. An excellent introduction to the sweet kung-fu skills Jesus used to kick the money lenders out of the temple.

The Green Mile

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Note the subtle halo

John Coffey, J.C (get it?) is executed for a crime he didn’t commit but before that he heals the afflicted using only his touch and inspires his persecutors with his bravery and goodness. This one isn’t subtle in any way but doesn’t need to be. Remembered fondly for the breakout performance by the late Michael Clarke Duncan and the emotionally charged finale. A religious allegory in the best sense of the word.

Man of Steel

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Hmmm I think the light behind the head might be a recurring theme

A controversial choice as it could be argued that Superman is based on the story of Moses who was placed in a basket and and floated down the Nile to save him from the Pharoah. But the story of Kal-El also has some strong similarities to the JC story. Supes does a shitload of miracles, saves tonnes of people and speaks to his father in a giant ice fortress. The ice palace was cut from the final version of the Bible dues to pacing issues. Honest!

E.T

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Sweet dreams kids!

Imagine if Christ was an alien with creepily long fingers and a face and body that resemble a turd. That’s E.T. Our immigrant friend performs miracles, is persecuted by the rulers of the land, apparently dies, and then leaves our world. Prefers the use of a flying bicycle over a donkey as his primary mode of transport. Rumours that Jesus had a long glowing finger are unfounded. The innocent choice of Jesus film. Unlike the next one.

RoboCop

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This is almost worse than nails

The most Jesus-ish (real word? Should be) movie ever is Paul Verhoeven’s ultraviolent, satirical , sci-fi classic. It has all of the elements that any JC film should contain: violent death of lead character – check, resurrection – check, walking on water – check, miracles check. Robocop has it all. This one has even been described by it’s director as a flick that asks the question ‘what if Jesus was American?’. The answer of course is the story of a robot that can produce a gun from it’s leg and murder the shit out of criminals. Amen.

Can you think of anymore? Commando might be a bit of a stretch as we all know it’s the story of Jeremiah. Get in touch below. For the complete opposite of this article check out why I think Zooey Deschanel is the Anti-Christ. Oh and Merry Christmas everyone! 

35 comments

  1. Great list Mikey! Very true that Jesus has been used multiple times for movies, and Superman is one I thought of right away. I LOVE The Green Mile, and John Coffey personifies the goodness of Christ more than anyone on this list!

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  2. Dark Knight Rises….Batman=Jesus….Catwoman=Sinner saved by grace or Mary Magdalene…..Bane=Devil Duh!!!…..Liam Neeson’s daughter=Judas…..Gotham=The World…..Robin=One of the disciples. Need I say more.

    Cool article bro.

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  3. Ooooh cool list! Never really thought about the Jesusness of these films. I’ll have to take time to ponder some, but offhand I can think of one Jesusy moment: Spider-Man 2 on the train when the people carry him over their heads? I’ve always thought it was a little Jesus-heavy…Pun intended?

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  4. Nice idea for a top 5 (and some fine choices too)! Great to see The Green Mile’s John Coffey make the list, that film always makes me reach for the tissues to wipe away a tear.

    I love RoboCop but there’s one scene that I have to turn my head away from the screen for. AND…it’s the very screenshot you’ve used to represent the film! Argh! 🙂

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  5. Reblogged this on Screenkicker! and commented:

    Happy Easter everyone, I hope you’re having a fun day of killing rabbits and feasting on their chocolatey ovaries. At least I think that’s what happens, it’s been a while. To remind you of the real reason for Easter here’s another look at the top movies about Jesus that the big man isn’t in. Enjoy!

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  6. After I watched all the above movies I also thought it was the story of Jesus. The Matrix is a really big one actually. Even the name Neo can be considered as “One” as in “The Chosen One”. And with the name Trinity, It would be hard to miss the theology in it. Awesome post;)
    I also wanted to stop by and let you know that I recently moved to a self-hosted site and the following is the latest post:
    http://www.younfolded.com/2016/03/20/younfolded-temporary-maintenance/

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